I Should Tell You
by FromTheDepthOfMyMind
Summary: What if "Prom Queen" had happened completely different? AU one-shot, my contribution to St. Berry week! Read and Review!


**A/N: Well… I'm back! I know I haven't written in a while and most of my stories need to be improved, but I think that my skills as a writer have improved and since it still is St. Berry week, I'm gonna write a one-shot! It's a bit angsty and this is the first time I have even attempted so, so be honest and tell me what you think! I do not acknowledge the existence of second season Jesse. I always thought he was intelligent and witty, with a dark side, RIB just made him look stupid (forgive me!), so I will be writing him via my characterization. Also, I usually don't like song fics but I feel like it was necessary to get the message across, and it's more towards the ending anyways. And Jesse will not be in the beginning of this so there will be hints of Finchel (which I despise) but it will end. I promise! This is an AU of prom, I think it needed some improving, so review! And happy St. Berry Week! :)**

Rachel sat in her bedroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror.

This was it, tonight was prom.

Of course, when she was younger she had pictured herself on the arm of some handsome jock, wearing an extravagant gown, and taking pictures with a gaggle of giggling girls.

But no, she was going with Sam. Actually, she was _sharing _Sam (with Mercedes of all people!), and her gown was second hand, bought from the local thrift store. No pictures were to be taken.

But still, it was prom, and she should be happy that she was going with anyone at all.

As she fixed her hair up into a bun, with little tendrils of hair on the sides, she reflected on the last year of her life, and how it had changed so much.

One year ago she met her mother, she found a family in the Glee Club, she got a boyfriend. She let her heart be broken, on more than one occasion. She had been naïve then, innocent, stupid.

She turned away from the mirror, disgusted. She had screwed up so many times, and yet she had also worked _so hard_ to fix her mistakes and finally get it right, but no one cared. She didn't deserve it, she knew she didn't. Why couldn't people understand her, she knew she was a nice person! She never deserved their hate and ridicule, but she would rise above it! She was Rachel Berry after all. But what exactly did that make her?

By the time she had finished applying her makeup, she realized that it was almost 6:30 and Mercedes would be picking her up any minute now. She ran downstairs and grabbed her shoes from the bag that she had left in her kitchen. She heard a car horn from outside and she knew it was Mercedes and her mom coming to bring them to Breadstix. She ran outside, shutting the door behind her and dashed to the awaiting car.

* * *

><p>Breadstix was pretty fun, although seeing Finn and Quinn there was still a bit of a slap to the face. It appeared that Quinn was upset with Finn for getting the wrong kind of corsage, and Rachel had to agree with Quinn on that one, Finn had bought one that, although it was quite beautiful, it clashed with Quinn's dress. Then, as if they didn't make it any more obvious of their presence, they ended up making up and kissing almost directly in front of Rachel's table on the way out. Whether or not they had intended to do so right in front of her, she didn't know.<p>

"Well," Sam said, glancing at his watch. "It's almost quarter to 8 and we still have to meet up with Kurt and Blaine before we get there."

"Yeah, I guess that's a good idea, we should probably get going." Mercedes nodded, eyeing Rachel staring at the potential Prom king and queen flaunting their affections for all to see.

After paying the waitress, they got into Sam's car that he had borrowed from his father. Rachel sat in the back seat as Mercedes tried to start up a conversation with Sam. She complemented Sam's bolo tie and he went on about how he his look had been inspired by Bruce Springsteen on the cover of the "Tunnel of Love" album.

_That is so 1987, Sam._ Rachel thought, deciding to keep her opinion to herself. Who was she to argue, she was the one wearing the secondhand dress.

As they stopped in front of the Hummel-Hudson residence, Blaine and Kurt were already waiting for them. The car was pretty crowded but Kurt lived conveniently close to McKinley. The male diva babbled on and on about the wonderful dinner that Blaine had made for him and how prom was going to be amazing and how everyone looked great. Rachel chimed in, just as eager to involve herself in a more cheerful, less awkward topic. Blaine held Kurt's hand, for some reason he looked a bit nervous, although Rachel couldn't find any reason why he would. Karofsky hadn't bothered Kurt at all since he'd returned and since Karofsky lost interest, so did everyone else.

When they got to McKinley, the music coming from the gym was heard from the parking lot! That was a shock considering Figgins usually separated with enough money so they could apy the band and maybe, if he was feeling gernerous, some decorations. Rachel had heard upperclassmen complain in previous years that everyone had to stay extra quiet so that they could at least dance to some music! She assumed that since it was New Directions that was singing, Figgins would put in some extra money for prom this year to keep the rest of junior class satisfied and not attack the group of performing misfits.

Mercedes and Rachel each took one of Sam's arms and made their way into their school along with Kurt and Blaine.

Rachel's eyes widened as they walked into the gym. There was music, Artie and was onstage with Tina and Mike and the juniors were dancing as if they actually enjoyed the music! She looked up and there was streamers hanging from the ceiling, and surrounding them there were even balloons! It was a miracle that Figgins allowed the prom to be decorated so beautifully this year.

As the song ended, Sam had to run off and perform with Puck and Artie. The opening notes of Friday blared through the speakers and Rachel suppressed a groan. The works of Rebecca Black were _definitely_ not her cup of tea, in fact, I'm pretty sure the only person she knew who listened to that song for entertainment was Brittany.

Still, Mercedes grabbed her arm and they both ran onto the dance floor and jumped to the beat of the song. And although it wasn't a very difficult task to accomplish, they were singing and performing the song better than the original artist! Rachel giggled as Kurt and Blaine ran up next to them and jumped alongside them, all four of them dancing and enjoying themselves to the horrible song that their talented friends were singing up onstage.

She looked over her shoulder and saw all the other students laughing and dancing just as jubilantly as they were. She didn't even mind as much when she saw Finn spin Quinn round and round as the song ended.

Somewhere she heard someone, she suspected Brittany shout "Best Prom Ever!"

And in that moment, it seemed to be just that.

* * *

><p>As Rachel stepped up to the microphone only one thought ran through her head: <em>how will this end?<em>

She had initially chosen Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" as her song, as to call out Finn and Quinn, but as she looked down, she saw them together on the dance floor Quinn hugging Finn but with him staring, not at Quinn, but at her.

She closed her eyes. Was it really worth it? What was the point of pining after Finn anyways, he was with Quinn, who he didn't even deserve anyways. Here they all were, at prom, and Finn wasn't even paying attention to his own date. Would it be the same if Rachel was with Finn, she didn't know. Maybe he just liked other girls as soon as he dated one of them. He didn't deserve her, and he didn't deserve Quinn. She didn't want him back.

In her short 10 second epiphany, she had found a new song to sing:

_You know I can't take one more step towards you_

_Cause all that's waiting is regret_

_And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore_

_You lost the love I loved the most…_

As she sang her song, putting all the emotions and regrets that filled her into it, she stared directly at Finn. She desperately needed him to get the message. She was letting go, and she would never want him back. He had a girlfriend, stay with her, make her happy, and some day maybe she could be happy too.

And yet, he still stared at her.

She averted her gaze from the overly tall football player and glanced around the room at the couples dancing together. Kurt and Blaine weren't dancing but talking quietly and observing the others just as Rachel was doing. She saw Santana and Karofsky together, looking more awkward and uncomfortable than enjoying themselves. She saw Becky Jackson and her date dancing; she wanted to compliment her hair since it looked more beautiful than she had ever seen it. Even Mike and Tina were happy, at least she thought so, considering they were kissing each other in a rather ardent manner.

As the song ended, Rachel felt a few tears slip down her face as she realized that she could finally be free.

She stepped off the stage as Blaine took her place and quietly made her way towards the back of the gym where Miss Sylvester, who was supposed to be minding the punch bowl, was nowhere to be seen.

The next song started up, and was relieved that it was a more upbeat song than the one she had just performed. She recognized it as "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You" by Black Kids, and giggled at the funny dance moves that she saw where she was. She glanced over at Finn and let out a breath of relief that he was finally paying attention to his date.

"What are you laughing at freak?"

She turned around, expecting to see Santana but was shocked to see Karofsky, Azimio, and some of the other football players standing next to the punch bowl.

Rachel looked down, not looking to the eyes of the jocks.

"N-nothing, what is it Karofsky?"

"Well, I'm here at my one and only junior prom, surrounded by pretty ladies and enjoying myself, and I see you standing here all weird and alone and it's killing my buzz," he sneered.

Rachel paled, she realized that they weren't here just to belittle her with their insults; they were going to _do_ something.

Karofsky took a sip from his glass as he studied her, eyes flitting from Rachel, to Azimio, to Kurt (…?), and back to Rachel.

She looked behind her; back on the dance floor Finn and Quinn had stopped dancing and were staring directly at them. Quinn seemed to be yelling at Finn about something and Finn was staring and nodding but he looked pretty upset. As Rachel turned her head back at Karofsky she felt something cold hit her face, and then another round of it, and another and another. It was the punch.

Her eyes burned, probably from the lemons in the punch but there was also a strange taste to it… Alcohol!

Her hands flew towards her face, trying to stop the burning. Tears streamed down her face as she blindly staggered backwards. Through the blurriness, she saw the tall figure of Finn making his way towards Karofsky with Quinn in tow.

"Karofsky, what the hell do you think you're doing?" she heard Finn shout over the music.

"Nothing Hudson, we're just getting rid of some freaks trying to mess up our prom."

"Well lay off of her, okay?"

"Well what are you gonna do about it Hudson?" she heard Azimio shout.

She heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh and opened her eyes long enough to see the figures of Karofsky, Finn, and Azimio punching and fighting on the floor.

She shouted for them to stop and her and Quinn tried to get Finn up and away from the struggling football players.

Then, at last, Miss Sylvester walked in through the doors and separated the fighting boys and pushed them away from each other.

"That's enough from you three! Karofsky, Azimio, Frankenteen, get out!" Sue screeched.

"Wait!" Quinn cried after her. "We're in the running for king and queen!"

"Sucks for you missy!"

Blaine's song finally ended and Quinn turned around, tears in her eyes, and made her way towards the stage for the declaration of the winners.

As Figgins walked onto the stage, Rachel saw a figure in a red dress, Santana, dart onto the stage next to where Quinn was. She looked to the opposite side of the stage and she could just see trough the blurriness, Noah's mowhawk.

"And now, this year's McKinley high Junior Prom King is… Noah Puckerman!"

There were lots of shouting and cheering from the students and Rachel slowly and blindly made her way towards the doors, wanting, no, needing to get out of there. But she needed to know who would win queen.

"And now, the moment we've all been waiting for. This year's 2011 Junior Prom Queen is… Santana Lopez!"

Wait, Santana? I guess the bully-whips had their effect on the students of McKinley after all.

Then, Brittany and Lauren stormed out of the gym angrily, and Puck and Santana dashed off the stage after them. Everyone was silent for a second, looking at each other confusedly. Then Mercedes came onto the stage with Tina and they started up the next song. Not knowing what to do next, the students stood frozen on the dance floor until Kurt and Blaine jumped into the middle of the circle that they were standing in and started dancing. The remnants of the Glee kids followed suit and started dancing until everyone else joined in as well.

She saw Quinn dart off the stage, past her, and out the door. She followed right behind, the pathway to the door becoming clearer and clearer.

They made their way out the door, down the hallway and into the women's restroom. Rachel could just see the tears on Quinn's face, now matching her own.

"Quinn, are you o-"

And that's when she felt Quinn's hand collide with her cheek.

"This is all your fault!" Quinn shouted at her.

Rachel, still in shock, stood there looking at Quinn with frightened eyes.

"I feel like such an _idiot_! I shouldn't have told Finn to go talk to Karofsky and defend you! I thought that if people saw that he was sticking up for a loser like you, we would get more votes because that's what Santana has been doingi and she freaking won! But no, I shouldn't have said so because he had to go off and help with his _fists_. Why do you have to be so stupid Rachel? You just _had to _attract attention to yourself and make Karofsky and Azimio pick on you! It is _your_ fault that I didn't win, it is _your_ fault that Finn is so confused right now, and it is _your _fault for just… everything! Get out, Rachel! I don't even want to look at you!"

Quinn turned towards the mirror and Rachel slowly spun around so that she was facing the door. She slowly walked out of the door, not talking, not crying, not even thinking.

She did not return to the gym. She couldn't because there was nothing there for her, she was a mess. She made her way down the hallway, not entirely sure of where her destination was. She had no ride home. Mercedes and Sam were still dancing the night away and Finn was long gone.

She ended up at her locker. She put her hand on it, and slid down onto the floor. She finally started sobbing.

Of course she had cried many times, her life was complicated like that, but the tears she shed tonight and the melancholy she had expressed in other situations were nothing in comparison.

She curled up into a little ball on the floor, her dress sprawled around her and sobbed so hard that her entire body shook with the intensity of her pain.

The wrenching sobs seemed as if they were coming from her core, where only her love of music stayed. She wanted to stay there, on the cold floor, alone. This was where she deserved to be.

She knew that she needed to find some way to get her out of this, but her heart and brain seemed to be giving up. They wanted to stay where they were. They had given it all and still failed. So there she stayed.

* * *

><p>He made his way in through the doors of McKinley high, walking throughout the hallways, looking.<p>

Earlier that day he had been on the other side of the country, up at 5 in the morning PST after finishing up a last minute essay when he decided to go on the computer. His friend from Ohio, Chris, had nonchalantly mentioned that tonight was the McKinley Junior Prom and that some of the Vocal Adrenaline kids were teasingly planning to crash. He knew they had no intention of doing so because they were soon to start 24 hour rehearsals and nothing as trivial as Prom would stop them from getting all the rest as they could get.

This year, he had spent the entire year throwing himself into his performing and school year, quickly rising up the social hierarchy at his school, faster than any freshman ever had. He had straight A's in every class, a lead in every musical, and a solo in every song. He was legendary. But he didn't even care, the only reason he was working so hard was because he needed at distraction. He needed a distraction from _her._

Of course, he did not know why exactly his thoughts were always on the young star in the making. She was only supposed to be an old acting assignment!

But with every song he heard, he felt her presence.

With every smile he saw, he saw hers in his mind.

And with every egg he saw on the shelves of any grocery store, on the plates of people in restaurants, in his friend's fridges, he felt his heart crack in half.

He had made up a plan subconsciously in his mind. He would go back to her and beg for her forgiveness and there could only be 2 outcomes.

He would win her heart back, or she would stomp all over his.

So when he heard that tonight would be the McKinley prom he realized that it was now the time to act. It was now or never.

He bought a plane ticket faster than you could say credit card and made his way to the airport. Money was never a problem with him, and probably never would be.

When he arrived in Ohio, he called for a car to take him to his Uncle's house, got dressed, started up his Range Rover and made his way over to McKinley.

So, as Jesse St. James walked briskly down the halls, he saw an upset looking Quinn storm out of the girl's bathroom and back into the gym, not even acknowledging his presence. He knew that if he walked in there there would be a shit storm coming from the New Directions members, although it was inevitable that there would be one any way he went. He chose to delay it for a bit and see if Rachel had left the dance to visit the choir room. As he turned the corner into the hall where the choir room was, he saw a small figure on the floor, halfway down the hallway.

He hurried down the hallway, his boots clicking on the floor and amplified by being in the empty hallway. As he got closer he realized that it was Rachel and his heart throbbed in his chest. After almost a yearm he had finally seen her again. But she was on the floor in a hallway, crying as he could see from her shaking shoulders.

Desperate to see if she was hurt, he ran to her. Dropping down on his knees next to her and taking her into his arms.

Her hair was a mess, her dress ruined, and her eyes swollen and red. And yet she still looked beautiful to him.

He rocked her back and forth, soothing her softly. She continued to sob but she had wrapped her arms around him, squeezing her arms around him as if he would disappear any second.

They sat together for a while until Rachel sobs faded to sniffles, yet Jesse still rocked her in his arms humming a tune that was familiar to them both, "Hello."

Jesse ran his fingers through his hair as he contemplated what to do next. With a quick glance to his watch, he saw it was almost 12 and they needed to be out of there before anyone else could see. Rachel didn't need any drama right now.

He hoisted her into his arms and started carrying her down the hall bridal style. They made their way out the doors and into the parking lot, when Jesse had gotten to his car he looked down just in time to see her brown eyes slowly close.

She had fallen asleep in his arms.

He let out a sigh and set her down in the passenger seat as gently as possible, not wanting to arouse her from her sleep. As he buckled her in, she stirred and grabbed his hand, thinking that she had woken up, he stared at her face unsure of what her reaction would be now that she was off the floor and outside. But no, she had subconsciously reached for his hand while she was slumbering. Jesse didn't want to let go of her hand, but they had to get out of there. Fast. He could just see people starting to walk out of the gym behind them and they needed to avoid the students of McKinley at all costs.

He let go of Rachel's hand, closed her door and got in on the other side. As they pulled out of the parking lot, Jesse sneaked a glance in Rachel's direction. She had laid her head on the side of the car, with her arms wrapped around herself as if she was literally holding herself together. He shook his head, wanting to find out everything that happened to her this year. It literally pained him to see her like this.

Was this _his_ fault? No, it couldn't be, last he checked on her she was having the time of her life with Hudson.

_Yes, but if you hadn't been such a fucking idiot and thrown fucking eggs at her, probably none of this would have happened,_ he thought bitterly.

As he arrived in front of Rachel's house, he expected himself to take her inside and then explain his actions to her fathers. But he saw that there were no cars in the driveway and no lights on in the house. With raised eyebrows, Jesse stepped out of the car and slowly made his way to the front door. He knocked hesitantly, not knowing if anyone would answer. When no one did, he took the key out from under the mat (When Rachel and him dated last year, she told him where it was) and unlocked the door. He walked back to the car and picked up Rachel again, walking inside the empty house.

As he carried her up the stairs, he knew that he had to leave.

He couldn't stay here, and yet he couldn't just leave her alone.

He needed more time, he needed to _know_.

He needed _her_. But he had to give her time.

He laid her down on her bed, tucking her in and picked up her iPod, which she needed to completely sleep.

As he scrolled down her playlists, some of the titles surprised her. There was one named "Finn," he rolled his eyes at that one. There was one called "Glee Club." Then there was one for "Heartache." But he was shocked when he saw the playlist titled "Jesse." He curiously looked as to what songs would be on there and was not surprised to see "Hello" at the top of the list. As he moved down the list, songs that were angry, declaring love, begging for return, letting go, loving, songs they had sung together, songs they had discussed, songs with emotion. And as he reached the bottom, he saw a song from RENT. He smiled a bit at that last one, apparently it was the most played of the lot. He pressed play and began to sing quietly along with the music.

_Your eyes_

_As we said our goodbyes_

_Can't get them out of my mind _

_And I find I can't hide_

_From your eyes_

_The ones that took me by surprise_

_The night you came into my life_

_Where there's moonlight_

_I see your eyes_

He sat down on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. Is this really what she thought of him? She still loved him.

As the next verse of the song started he watched Rachel slumber on as if nothing was wrong in the world.

_How'd I let you slip away _

_When I'm longing to hold you_

_Now I'd die for one more day _

'_Cause there's something I should have told you_

_Yes, there's something I should have told you_

_When I looked into your eyes_

_Why does distance make us wise_

_You were the song all along_

_And before the song dies_

Jesse moved towards her, gently putting a hand on her cheek. She pressed her face into his palm, welcoming the feeling of his skin on hers.

He looked directly into her eyes, which were closed and said the next lines with the most honestly he could ever express.

_I should tell you, I should tell you_

_I have always loved you_

_You can see it in my eyes_

One tear, which was one more than he had shed since he was a young child, made his way down his face and landed on Rachel's cheek. He pressed his lips to her forehead and stood up.

He walked over to her bedside table and left something there next to her iPod.

Jesse walked out the door, and down the stairs. He could still hear the sounds of the guitar coming from Rachel's upstairs. And when he finally made his way out of the door he turned around and looked up to where her bedroom window was. As the final notes of the song were playing out of her window, he belted out the final word of the song, altering it slightly.

_Rachel!_

* * *

><p>The next morning Rachel woke up, not knowing where she was. She looked around and realized that she was in her room. Was last night just a dream? A horrible, horrible dream?<p>

She looked down and saw that she was still in her ruined dress and almost sobbed. It was real, all real. The dancing alone, the punch being thrown at her, the fight with Quinn, it had all happened. But she couldn't really remember anything after that.

She remembered leaving the bathroom and walking throughout the school, she also remembered breaking down on the floor outside of her locker.

The only thing she couldn't remember was how she got home…

_She was lying on the floor, crying and shivering. Her chest hurt and she just wanted to give up, not knowing what to do next._

_Then, she heard the sound of footsteps coming from behind her. They were steadily growing louder and faster until they were finally just behind her. She felt their hands, a boys, definitely not Finns, grab her arms and huug her close into a toned chest. She felt warm and safe wrapped in the arms of this strange person, she couldn't see who it was but they felt… familiar. She felt like she belonged there. As she cried into their chest, she heard him humming and soother her with his voice. She _knew_ this person from somewhere but she didn't have the energy to find out right now. All she wanted was someone to hold her and make the ache in her heart go away._

_As the time passed, she felt her eyelids get heavier and heavier until she finally drifted off to sleep._

She looked next to her and saw her iPod on her dock on the bedside table. She was confused because she distinctly remembered having it on her hope chest when she left the house last night.

She picked it up and saw what list she had apparently listened to last night.

Jesse.

Her hand covered her mouth and she was unsure of what to feel. He had come back! For her! Or at least she thought he did, why else would he be at McKinley?

She looked where he had left her iPod, there was a small piece of paper and on it was a short note with only two words and a number.

_Please, Rachel_

* * *

><p>He didn't exactly know what would be the outcome of the whole note thing.<p>

Usually, Jesse only acted when he was absolutely sure of what was going to happen. But Rachel Berry had a strange way of throwing him off and making his plans less efficient.

He sat down on the bench of the piano and waited for a call that might never come.

He looked around the empty store and sighed.

This was where they had first met.

Last night, after leaving Rachel's house, he had no desire to return to his Uncle's place. He ended up driving around Lima until he got to the only music store in the town.

Surprisingly, it was a 24 hour store although Jesse had no idea why. He doubted anyone in this Podunk town had a sudden urge to buy sheet music in the middle of the night.

He had been sitting in here for hours, not really doing anything. The cashier hadn't said anything, he was probably happy that there was someone in the store anyways. Jesse was pretty sure the guys name was Thad or something, he was a middle aged guy with sandy hair and a beard. Whenever Jesse came here, before he met Rachel, Thad never really spoke much to him, although he did sit at the piano a lot just waiting to play for Jesse when he came to perform his little impromptu concerts. The only time he had ever seen Thad have a full out conversation was when a man looking exactly like him came in and talked with him. Only now did Jesse realize that the other man was Brad from McKinley high.

Huh, Brad and Thad. Go figure.

He glanced at his watch, and then opened his phone. Still nothing. He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated with the situation he was in.

As he looked up at the clock on the wall, he decided that waiting at the music store for her was pointless. He was going to go back to her house and talk to her there.

He was just walking past Thad when the phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and smirked.

"Hello?"

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, this is the end. Just a one-shot, it's up to you to decide how it ends! Forgive any grammatical errors or any other mistakes, I kind of rushed this because I got a surgery done but I wanted to contribute to St. Berry week before it was over! Please review! They really make my day! :)<strong>


End file.
